Our Child-self can be a magnificent resource
Left unrecognized, not understood, or rejected and abandoned, a child-self can turn into a “troublemaker” that obstructs our evolution as well as our enjoyment of existence. The external expression of this phenomenon patterns of inappropriate dependency, or become narcissistic, or experience the world as belonging to “the grown-ups.”
On the other hand, recognized, accepted, embraced, and thereby integrated, a child-self can be a magnificent resource that enriches our lives, with its potential for spontaneity, playfulness, and imaginativeness.
Before you can befriend and integrate a child-self, so that it exists in harmonious relationship to the rest of you, you must first make contact with that identity within your inner world.
By way of introducing clients or students to their child-selves, I sometimes ask them to enter a fantasy, to imagine themselves walking along a country road and, in the distance, to see a small child sitting by a tree and, as they draw near, to see that that child is the self they once were. Then I ask them to sit down by the tree and enter into dialogue with the child. They are encouraged to speak aloud, to deepen the reality of the experience. What do they want and need to say to each other? Not uncommonly there are tears; sometimes there is joy. But there is almost always the realization that in some form the child still exists within the psyche (as a mind state) and has a contribution to make to the life of the adult – and a richer, fuller self emerges from the discovery.
Often, there is the sad realization that they had mistakenly thought they needed to rid themselves of that child in order to grow up.”
(NATHANIEL BRANDEN i boken “Reclaiming the Inner Child” sammanfattad av JEREMIAH ABRAMS)
On the other hand, recognized, accepted, embraced, and thereby integrated, a child-self can be a magnificent resource that enriches our lives, with its potential for spontaneity, playfulness, and imaginativeness.
Before you can befriend and integrate a child-self, so that it exists in harmonious relationship to the rest of you, you must first make contact with that identity within your inner world.
By way of introducing clients or students to their child-selves, I sometimes ask them to enter a fantasy, to imagine themselves walking along a country road and, in the distance, to see a small child sitting by a tree and, as they draw near, to see that that child is the self they once were. Then I ask them to sit down by the tree and enter into dialogue with the child. They are encouraged to speak aloud, to deepen the reality of the experience. What do they want and need to say to each other? Not uncommonly there are tears; sometimes there is joy. But there is almost always the realization that in some form the child still exists within the psyche (as a mind state) and has a contribution to make to the life of the adult – and a richer, fuller self emerges from the discovery.
Often, there is the sad realization that they had mistakenly thought they needed to rid themselves of that child in order to grow up.”
(NATHANIEL BRANDEN i boken “Reclaiming the Inner Child” sammanfattad av JEREMIAH ABRAMS)
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